I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Terrible idea I love it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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