You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
