we're chasing vodka with high fives
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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