When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize