His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
