Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
