That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
