He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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