discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize