so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
