I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
