I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
