I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
