Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
