We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
