That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
