worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
