"it" just moved
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
