Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
