currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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