He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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