Too much gin, very little bucket
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
