it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize