apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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