just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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