I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
