your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
