My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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