When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think people are normalizing furries
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
