Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
