I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize