You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Randomize
