I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
