whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
