party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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