i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize