You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
