Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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