and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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