I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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