Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i came on her dog
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
