I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Come see our sink grown plant.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
