Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this boner is exhausting
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
