her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
being pregnant is like rehab
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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