playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
