OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
