we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
