just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
