Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
