He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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