Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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