She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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