Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
sick fucks of a feather flock together
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
