We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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