My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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