marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
