She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
