Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
