I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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