What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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