I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
