Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
