The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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